Strange Man -- Secret Agent Man?

London (AP) – A man dressed in tuxedo was taken into custody early this morning. He was found hiking along one of the major roads leading into the city. When asked his name by a local constable, he said his name was “Bond...James Bond.” Constable Plod said he smelled the strong odor of alcohol on his breath, possibly vodka.

When questioned, the man identifying himself as Mr. Bond described a huge underground missile complex and a wealthy industrialist bent on world domination. Mr. Bond said he destroyed the missiles and killed the supposed villain. Having confessed to murder, Mr. Bond was cautioned, arrested on the spot, and charged with murder.

When searched, Mr. Bond was found to be carrying a Walther PPK and a handful of other gadgets he asked the constable not to touch. He explained most could be used as weapons. Mr. Bond was again cautioned, as firearms are strictly regulated in Britain and concealed weapons of any kind are forbidden.

The man said he was a commander in the Royal Navy, on attachment with MI-6 as an agent, and that this could be confirmed by MI-6. MI-6 had not returned any of the several phone calls made by the police on his behalf by press time. The not-so-secret agent calling himself James Bond is currently assisting the police in their inquiries.